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Church Signs
By christon | May 23, 2009
“No God — No Peace. Know God — Know Peace.”
“Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!”
“Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.”
“Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!”
An ad for St.Joseph’s Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, “For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets.”
When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, “Open Sundays,” the church reciprocated with its own message: “We are open on Sundays, too.”
“Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons — come hear one!”
A singing group called “The Resurrection” was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, “The Resurrection is postponed.”
“People are like tea bags — you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.”
“God so loved the world that He did not send a committee.”
“Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!”
“When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out alright.”
“Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday.”
“Fight truth decay — study the Bible daily.”
“How will you spend eternity — Smoking or Non-smoking?”
“Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives”:
“Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.”
“It is unlikely there’ll be a reduction in the wages of sin.”
“Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.”
“If you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.”
“If you don’t like the way you were born, try being born again.”
“Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.”
“This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?”
“Forbidden fruit creates many jams.”
“In the dark? Follow the Son.”
“Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up.”
“If you can’t sleep, don’t count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.”
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Topics: humor | 12 Comments »
May 26th, 2009 at 8:31 am
why not think about the book, and dedicate it to the one person
June 2nd, 2009 at 8:15 pm
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June 8th, 2009 at 11:18 pm
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June 17th, 2009 at 5:32 am
Excuse please, that I interrupt you. But great posting anyway
June 26th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Hey, have you seen this news article?
New details about Michael Jackson’s Death Emerge
I was wondering if you were going to blog about this…
June 30th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
Cool post, just subscribed.
October 15th, 2009 at 12:56 am
Good joke
Why do elephants trumpet? They don’t know how to play the violin.
October 15th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Do you want a fresh joke from net? What happens to illegally parked frogs? They get toad away.
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